


Tales of the Avengers

by RadioactiveRose



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Comedy, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioactiveRose/pseuds/RadioactiveRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are people too, and they do normal things on the occasion that Doombots aren't attacking, so here is what I think their 'Average' days would be like. Some chapters are inspired by requests I get from other people on FF.Net. These stories are mainly comedy with romance of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Youtube

“Tell me I’m not seeing that; that it’s all just some trick of the light.” Clint whispered to Bruce who just shook his head, “I know it might seem strange, but it’s real.” 

Clint turned back to look at the scene unfolding before them, Tony and Steve were sitting side by side and actually talking instead of trying to kill one another. “Um…what’s Tony doing?” Clint asked Bruce, who’s jaw looked like it was about to hit the floor. Tony had casually draped his arm over Steve’s shoulder. Clint half expected Steve to shake it off and punch Tony or do something. Instead the Captain just looked at Tony and wrapped his arm around the others waist. 

“We should really go now.” Bruce said, not moving an inch. Eyes only widening as Tony tilted his head to give Steve better access to his mouth. "Agreed.” Clint stated, “I’ll go get the others and you go make the popcorn.” Bruce laughed, until he realized that Clint wasn’t kidding. 

“What? I’m sure that Nat would love to use this as blackmail, and I heard Thor asking questions about why ‘Man of Iron and Captain of the America’ weren’t in a relationship, I’m sure this will answer that question for him.” Laughing Clint jogged up the stairs, leaving Bruce trailing along behind him. 

~10 minutes later~ 

“No way…” Natasha half whispered half squealed as they all stood there looking at the now closed curtain, after explaining what they had seen, upon returning downstairs they found the window had a curtain obstructing their vision.  
“Oh! I know exactly what to do, wait here,” Clint said, already jogging back up the stairs, “There’s a vent that’s in Tony’s workspace.” He called over his shoulder, most would just say ‘good luck with that’, but everyone knew that if anyone could get a video camera into that vent, it was Clint; and once he did that shit was going on YouTube. 

~The next day~

“BARTON!”  
Clint smiled to himself as he heard Tony and Steve’s combined shout. He might have to go into hiding, but it was worth it.


	2. Horror Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight is movie night, an ordinary ritual they do. But today's movie chooser is Tony. Now of course he's going to pick something that's going to scare the living daylights out of his Captain, but not before they have a little fun making a pizza and reminiscing on past movie nights.

“Why do you have that creepy grin plastered on your face?” Bruce asked Tony as they sat down around the living room table; Bruce had been reading a magazine until he had noticed Tony in the opposite chair with a creepy grin.   
“Tonight is movie night.” And he seemed awfully chipper about it too. This frankly scared him. He walked over to the fridge where the calendar was pinned up; scanning today’s date it showed that tonights' ‘movie night’ would be Tonys' choice.   
A moment of sheer panic set in, but then he remembered Natasha’s movie night. 

~Flashback~

“God no…god no what is wrong with you…Make it stop!” –Coulson (That had also coincidentally been the last time Phil had accepted an invitation to their movie nights. 

“Juuuust like Budapest.” Nat had whispered to Clint, who had a troubled look in his eye. “You and I remember Budapest very differently.” Clint had whispered back, terrified of what was playing out on the screen, and having found a newfound reason to fear his girlfriend, at least it should have, but apparently he wasn’t scared that easily. 

“Tony, did they model some of those weapons off of ones you built?” Steve had asked his boyfriend, who just shook his head calmly “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve was smart enough to drop the subject.

Bruce just tried not to throw up at the carnage.

~End flashback~

If it’s any indication as to which movie Natasha picked, Thor didn’t want to see it for it was ‘too savage and immoral.’ Suffice it to say, they each got to veto Natasha’s movies if they were too graphic.   
“So what movie are we going to have the pleasure of watching?” Bruce asked, turning his attention back to Tony.   
Who just shook his head and made a tsk-tsk sound walking over to the sink and placed his dishes there. “You’ll just have to wait and see like the others.” With that last remark he checked his watch. “Have you seen-”  
“No, haven’t seen Steve since I kicked him out of the lab.” Tony just nodded his head, he understood. Tony had his workshop and Bruce had his lab, they were both very protective of their sacred domains and preferred if no one bothered them. “Maybe he’s training.” Bruce supplied after seeing the thoughtful look Tony had.  
“I’ll see you later then, try not to miss me too much.” Tony said as he walked off, leaving Bruce to wonder how he had ever come to call Tony Stark his best friend.

He had never noticed it before, but this place was beginning to turn into a domestic little group, none of them were single anymore. Clint had Natasha, Tony had Steve, Coulson had Agent Hill, hell even Bruce had Don. Everyone was happy, and who could really complain? They worked even better than before, functioning as a team more so than ever before.   
Suddenly he felt a body press against him and arms wrap around his waist. “Good morning.” He said as he turned around, giving the Norse demigod a light kiss. All fears of the impending movie night had washed away. 

That night at 7:00 PM-

Same as on the battlefield they worked just as well in the kitchen.  
“Nat, could you toss me those?” Bruce called over across the kitchen space, it was currently holding five people and none of them had so much as brushed elbows, that’s how enormous it was.   
“Sure thing.” She said as she tossed over the measuring spoons that were attached by a little silver ringlet. Bruce smiled in thanks. “Hey JARVIS, could you bring up the viewing screen and the speakers?” Tony asked as he came into the room.“Already done, sir.” Responded the somewhat humanlike voice.   
“What would you do without him?” asked Steve, who was busy dicing tomatoes for the pizza they were making.   
“The real question is what would I do without you.” Tony said, throwing in his famous flirtatious grin, you think now that they were dating he wouldn’t have to do that, but he insisted either way. Steve just blushed and wasn’t paying attention to the tomato and the very sharp knife in his hand so needless to say, the poor knife never had a chance and quickly made acquaintance with the waste basket. 

~30 minutes later~

“The pizza looks like shi-” Clint was about to say, until Natasha jabbed him in the ribs. “I think it looks great.” No sooner had he said that, Don made a choking sound and rushed off to the bathroom. “Maybe we should leave the cooking to Natasha from now on.” Tony said sitting on the couch, which was where he had quickly retreated to after seeing the gross object that shouldn’t even be called a pizza, it honestly looked like Frankenstein’s monster. 

“Oh yeah? And why’s that Stark, just because I’m a woman?” Natasha asked, an edge to her voice.

“Wow, just wow Nat, what do you take me for? Some kind of sexist pig?” Tony asked, feigning a hurt tone. 

Nat just ignored him as she looked up to the ceiling. “Don’t bother,” Tony called from the couch, “I’ve already ordered pizza, it should be here in a few moments.” Everyone turned to glare at him, “You let us do all this work and you already ordered pizza?!” Bruce shouted, and the others (except for Don) took a step away from him.   
“Yeah well, one: Steve looked really cute up to the point where he killed a knife, and two: I knew you guys would fuck it up somehow.” No one decided to argue with that logic, instead they all just piled onto the couch. 

“What are we watching?” Don asked, scooting in closer to Bruce and holding him as if he were a stuffed animal.  
That’s when the evil grin found itself settled upon Tony’s face once again. “Silent Hill.” Was all he said before Bruce felt a sharp stab where his ribs were, and looking over at Don he saw that it was because the older man was now pressed extremely close to him and was holding onto him like a security blanket. 

“Please tell me we’re not watching that.” Clint whispered and Natasha just smiled, “Great choice Stark.” To which Tony just smiled as he popped the movie in. “Um…Tony…what’s Silent Hill?” Steve asked quietly as the previews started. “You’ll see,” Tony whispered back. 

“Is it scary?” 

“Define ‘scary’.”

“Can you sleep afterwards?” Steve asked.

“That depends,” Tony smiled, “How big of a scaredy cat are you?” 

“I’m not a scardy cat, I just prefer to be able to sleep after watching a movie.” Steve responded, folding himself closer to Tony as the movie began. Tony just smiled, “You can hold my hand if it gets too scary for you.” He said as he held out his left hand, Steve swatted it way and Tony just shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘fine by me’ but after the beginning of the movie Steve’s hand found Tony’s. “You know if you still can’t sleep after the movie, I promise I’ll think of something we can do. I’ll stay up with you.” Tony said, giving a slight squeeze to Steve’s hand. 

~Moments Later~

“She got arrested…arrested and then the road disappeared…why does the road always disappear…” Clint mumbled to himself although it sounded more like disturbed ramblings. It only got worse from there.  
Don had tuned it out a while ago after calling Tony ‘bacraut’, which was most likely a Norse swear word based off of how he said it, and buried his face in Bruce’s shoulder trying to block out the screams. Bruce just kept repeating ‘I think I’m going to be sick…I’m going to be sick…oh god I am going to throw up.’  
The one that took it the worst though was Steve, he had decided to pretend like it wasn’t bothering him/scaring the bajeezus out of him by staring blankly at the screen. After a particularly gruesome scene in which they were showing flashbacks of how Alessa was ritually burned, that seemed to break Steve. He calmly got up, threw his hands in the air and said “I give up, you won.” And walked off to the bedroom.   
Almost everyone was now more interested in that little show than the movie going on. “What did he mean ‘you won’?” Clint asked.  
Tony just smiled as he got up, stretching a bit and walking to the room he now shared with Steve he called over his shoulder, “I wanted to try this new ‘thing’ with Steve, he said no, I said how about we make a bet he said sure. He lost.” Tony smiled.  
“Wait friend, what was the bet?” Don asked a bit hesitantly.  
“The bet was, if he could make it through the whole movie, then I’d never bring it up again. But I knew he couldn’t, so I win.” Tony grinned, and as a side note as he reached the door to their room he called to the others, “Oh, and you guys might want to go out and buy some more chocolate, cause after tonight there isn’t going to be any left.” And then he disappeared into the room. Leaving everyone with even more grossed out looks. Bruce at that point preferred the movie to the disturbing pictures he was imagining of his two best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this one, I have Shiro-Shinigami to thank for this idea, even though they won't see this since it's on FF I just thought I still needed to add that, it was a great idea and I had fun writing it. Hope you all had an equally fun time reading it!


	4. Carpe Diem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wants a pet, Tony doesn't think he can say no forever.

Walking along the street hand in hand with his boyfriend, Tony had to suppress a groan as Steve dragged him along like a rag doll. In his mind he mentally cursed Bruce and his damn choice of movie last night, it being “The Dead Poets Society” everyone seemed to hate it, although really maybe he was wrong, he fell asleep within the first 10 minutes.

Only to be awoken that morning by Steve who had all but thrown him out of his damn bed rambling on and on about how they needed to “seize the day” and when Tony asked why, Steve just stopped and stared at him for a while before throwing a shirt at him and saying ‘get dressed’. Apparently one of the themes of the movie was ‘carpe diem’, and it’s a good thing Tony knew what that Latin phrase ment because if he hadn’t he would have guessed it ment ‘Wake your boyfriend up and shout nonsense at him’.

Tony was currently cursing the existence of that movie and the existence of Bruce for choosing that movie. It seemed as if the world were turning upside down on him, just the other day Steve had complained about something… _Steve Rogers_ the Captain himself had made a complaint. Ever since he had been hanging around with Clint, Tony feared that his boyfriend was picking up bad habits from the marksman, and knowing Clint; Tony was sure he was doing it just to fuck with him.

Shaking his head he decided to suck it up and be a big boy, he could handle this…he could totally handle this…although already his mind was wandering to places he’d rather be, back in the lab with Bruce, or flitting off to his workshop, or cuddled up in bed with a sleeping Steve in his arms; but then he’d just think of Steve and their first kiss.

Their first kiss had been right after a huge fight they’d had, as Clint would have stated if he were present (Although Tony’s pretty sure the bastard got it all on film) there had been a lot of sexual tension between them and they were both pushed to the breaking point. Tony almost felt bad for attacking Steve’s mouth, that is, if it wasn’t for the mind blowing sex that followed.

“Tony?” Steve asked, giving a little nudge to his boyfriend which brought Tony back to where they were currently standing, just in front of a…no. “No, I already told you, we are not going in there.” He said, although he was already beginning to wonder whether he could really say no to Steve.

“Tony, I am prepared to withhold sex.” And thank god he hadn’t been drinking anything because it would have been one horrible reaction. He was going to have to tell Clint to stop letting Steve know what Nat does to him when she gets pissed. Sighing he looked at Steve and then at the Pet Shop and then back to Steve, gaze wondering a little bit lower….and fuck. Yeah he was going to regret this wither way. “Fine-” any other words died as Steve practically jumped on Tony, kissing him fiercely.

“Thank you.” He said as they walked into the shop. Tony really prayed that Steve wasn’t going to get too attached to an animal.

~2 minutes later~

“Tony! Look how cute he is!” Steve practically shouted in his ear as he ran about like a kid in a candy store. Which wouldn’t have even been accurate, half the kids in the store were looking at Steve like _he_ was the child.

For the next 20 minutes it went along the lines of Steve approaching Tony with a new possible pet, and each time Tony would say no. How else was he going to manage to keep the house clean? After the seventh pet, it was getting harder and harder to say no to Steve. After several moments of wandering aimlessly through the store he thought Steve had finally given up. That is, until he turned around and almost smacked straight into him.

“Look Tony! I think I finally found the perfect pets.”

“Pets? _Pets_ …as in, more than one?”

“C’mon just wait till you see ’em.” Steve beamed.

Following Steve over to a container he stopped, turned to look at Steve and nodded, “Ok, that could be arranged.”

-Back at the Avengers HQ-

“What the fuck are those?” Clint asked from where he was perched on the barstool. He was looking at where Steve was setting up a little tank.

Steve turned around and smiled, “They’re hermit crabs! Look, their little shells are painted.” He said, stepping aside so the inhabitants of the tank were visible through the glass now, Clint walked over and gaped at the design. On one of the crabs shells was the design for Steve’s Captain America shield and on the other crabs was a reddish-gold design spiraling along it’s shell.

At that moment, Natasha decided to come rushing in. “I heard you Tony let you get-” but she stopped mid-sentence as she saw what was in the glass habitat. “Well, it’s not a kitten like I had hoped, but…they do look kinda…cute?” she said, “So, what are their names?”

Steve smiled proudly, “Well, Tony named the reddish-gold one “Iron Shell” and I named mine “Captain Crab”, we figured it’d suit them well.” He said, Nat nodded moving to pick up “Captain Crab” (wishing she had had a say in what to name them), but Tony’s hermit crab (Iron Shell) rushed over and tried to pinch at Nat’s hand, she looked up at Steve who shrugged.

“Oh, yeah, that little guy is kinda possessive.” Steve said, apology in his voice.

“You don’t say.” Nat said with a smile, remembering a time when a waitress had mistakenly tried to hit on Steve in front of Tony, god that’d been a spectacle. Tony practically rushed over to grasp Steve’s hand, all but tossing the bimbo a predatory glare.

Clearly, the pets were well suited to their owners. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! Reviews are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Well my dears, just to let you know, I take requests for what you would live to see in the next chapter or later chapters, I am open to ideas. This was simply born because I need something fun to write when I'm not busy with my more serious story. I have a couple other chapters done that I should post soon, so keep an eye out for those. Also, I post this one and my other stories on Unleash your Imagination Fan Fiction. Net so if you'd like to check there to see if I've posted anything new than feel free, because I think I might update this story sooner over there since it already has a lot of people following it, well thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed!


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